In a week and half, my daughter, my oldest child, turns 18. It is a momentous occasion. She will officially leave her childhood behind and start down her own path in life. Up to this point, I’ve had some say in her life, the ability to guide her way. My role is about to diminish. This milestone has caused me to contemplate the legacy that I’ve given my daughter, the foundation for her life to come. The old saying goes that we give our children two things: roots and wings. Combined, this is the legacy that we leave our children. We let them know where they come from and the courage to find out where they want to go. Or at least as parents, that is what we hope to do.
From the first moment we are handed those tiny infants, there is one universal truth that every parent seems to embrace: we are doing this wrong. I read a Baby Blues strip were the Dad emotionally declares that people have multiple children in order to fix all the mistakes they made with the first one. While I don’t quite agree with the whole idea, I do know that it is easier to identify what I have done wrong as a parent then what I have done right. I haven’t taught them organization. My housework skills are so-so and I definitely don’t enjoy it. While I have a testimony, I’ve not always been a pillar of church activity. I haven’t taught them to save or budget. And I’m positive they will look elsewhere for marital examples. This list is just a few of things that, as a mother, I know I’ve done wrong. I’m sure that there are more, I’m positive there are more.
That is not to say that I’ve only given them a negative legacy. They are both readers and learners. I know I’ve done that right. They both have a love for their extended family and a desire to know their ancestors. I hope they both know how much I love them.
If I could start all over, I know what legacy I would want for my children, what gifts I would give them to face the challenges ahead.
· Faith: This is the foundation for everything else. It begins with faith in God and faith in yourself. Without it, you are adrift and at sea.
· Charity: The pure love of Christ. Life is so much happier with a charitable and loving heart.
· Knowledge: Not just having it, but the desire for it.
· Service: The world is a better place and you are a better person when you serve.
· Hope: Life isn’t easy, but hope can make it bearable and doable.
· Basic life skills: Just the how to’s in life. All those simple small things that are necessary to take care of yourself and one day, your own family.
· Self-worth: Always know who you are and where you’re going. If you remember that, you can do anything.
· Family: Whether your birth family, your extended family, your ancestors, or those you find along the roads you travel in life, cherish your family. Hold them close. They are part of you and your strength.
It seems like a small list, but these are the big things, the things I want my children to see as their legacy. This and one more small thing, my love for them.
Legacy, what we receive from our parents and give to our children. It is their roots and their wings, the foundation to build their lives on. In turn, part of the legacy we give them is passed on to their children and their children’s children.
On your 18th birthday, if I’ve given you nothing else, please know that I love you and that I am proud of who you are. I see great potential in you. If you take nothing else with you, take my love and faith and fly.
